I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
