i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I think I died a long time ago.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
