I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
