no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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