i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
