butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
