My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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