great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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