So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
