I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
