Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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