he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
