I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
