Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
