Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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