I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You're earring is so big in my mouth
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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