The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
