ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
