just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
