yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she pinky promised me she was 18
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
