so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
