My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
