At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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