my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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