what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
