I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
