okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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