so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
