Dude my mom stole all your condoms
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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