how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize