Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize