so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
