i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize