I must be too annoying 4 u.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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