I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize