Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
