Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
