what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
