I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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