I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
