Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
