I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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