Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
bring money and cleavage
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize