just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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