The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
