i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
