My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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