"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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