no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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