That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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