We're facebook friends in real life
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My bed smells like the plague
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