You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
