Betty ford says i'm here all night
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
