Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
