He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
