Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
whose ass print is on the piano?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
