As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
