So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
You smell like stripper and shame
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
