i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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