i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Congratulations! We have a period
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